Sunday, March 16, 2014

And the world’s going to know your name!

My nephew, Yoeuhuang
What can Y actually mean? This question intrigued me for quite a while. It all started when my eldest sister had her first baby. I mean her only one so far. I was curious to know his name from the very beginning. My first question after her delivery was concerning his name. She winked and said it was already decided. To sustain my curiosity she just left with Y. “It starts with Y,” was the mystery for a dumber like me. I was restless because the only words that came in my mind were ‘You, Yourself, Yesterday, Yeller, Yeti, etc….

It was unfair on my nephew’s part because all sorts of selfish words were related to it. True to be me, I stormed in and demanded to end the mystery. She smiled and whispered, “YOEUHUANG.” For a moment I couldn’t move. “YOEUHUANG?”…. a word meaning ‘Prince Charming’ in Subba, our dialect. I was left with lopsided grin. That little boy chuckled as he sucked his mother’s milk.

Suddenly, the letter Y took a new perspective in my life. Maybe Y could be ‘Yours, Young forever, Yummy….’ We always take things our way and build up notion on anybody or anything. We exaggerate little things and think it as the only way but most often it’s in waiting and taking the other way round that can make us see the better things in life.

Life has lots of gifts and purposes. Who knows if I had not known Yoeuhuang- my nephew, my perspective on Y would have never changed.

Although I regret for not having been to write good essays with better Y words but nevertheless, I do now. A popular adage has it that “You maybe late but never too late for anything.” I look at my cute nephew’s picture and all I can say about Y is ‘Yield, yearn, youthful and Yippee....’ and many more.

Unfolding Mystery….Worth it or Earn it!

I don’t know how my life will take the shape. And I never want to know. I was not meant to be like this. I was a kind of child who was so ambitious. Yes, of course still I am today but the perception has been little misdirected. Time has changed everything. The perception that I used to have has been wear and tear. I cannot retain it. Time has made me weary.

Life is so unreliable and cruel. Difficulties don’t come when we are willing to face it. But it comes when we are unaware of it. My father got brain stroke in the year 2009 and he got paralysed. It was during my examination. I was writing my class IX examination. The incident made me numb. My family were all dejected, especially my mother. Her better half was lying on the bed, half dead. I was sad and gloomy.

Maybe I am wrong. Maybe I misunderstood the lesson of life. I want to take things for granted. Now I know and I am confirmed that life is not trustworthy, I don’t plan for the next moment. If I do so, I know that untrustworthy will overspill me and I will be miserable. I don’t want that. Within me, I make sure that I adore the very moment and live to fullest.

I am inspired by my father and his strength of mind. He is still half paralysed. His right hand and right leg is distressed and do not listen to his brain. They are devoid of life. But he has hope that someday they will be thriving. At least, a little. I wish his hope be contented. But I know, this will not happen and he does so. My mother does each and every ritual in a hope that someday her better half will get well. I know she is tired. But she never sighs. Their love is wonder.

At different point, perception takes different direction. I used to think that life is a fairy tale. The ending is always happy but I was flawed. Reality does not contain fantasy. I remind myself that everything has a purpose in life. We are the one to discover it either positively or negatively.

It is not that I am mad with my life. I love my life and people who are part of me. I want them by me all my life. It is not possible, I know. I am worn-out and exhausted thinking my wishes never get fulfilled. Life isn’t so easy. You just don’t worth it, you earn it.

Friday, March 14, 2014

Annoyed Eyelids


Some nights I can’t sleep. People say that we can’t sleep when we are in love just because we feel that reality is much beautiful than dream. Not in my case. Actually, love is not in my case. Night mares come. I try my hard to sleep but my eyes don’t listen to my mind. The war between my eyes and mind continues. But the mystery never gets end. I miss my mother. I miss her warmth. While I was with her, I used to curl up in her arms and she would hold me tight. My favourite place where I get world’s best sleep is my mother’s arms. I can still smell her body’s odour and I love it.

I am far away from my home. My mother is not with me. Sleep does not come to me. My eyes wide open though my mind tries to take rest. I think of stacks of things. Social networks have made the world smaller. We have cell phones. I think of calling my mother at the middle of the night but I stop myself. I know she is having sound sleep after her hard diurnal chores. I think of her and try to sleep but still my eyes do not agree.

I can still remember my father stroking my hair whole night just to make me sleep when my mother was out of home. My father used to tell me stories of mighty prince which I now know as lord Rama. I would sleep happily rejoicing the mighty prince’s victory over evil. My father used to cover me with the blanket and switch the light off. I knew making me sleep was a troublesome job for him but still he did. The warmth, the love that he has for me overweighed everything. Just to make me have sound sleep, he would be awake all night. The old memories do not satisfy my eyes. My eyes still does not want to take rest.

After recollecting so many memories still, my eyes wide open. I try to reach my hand to the table to catch hold of my cell phone. The sound bothers my roommate. She wakes and asks me why I am still up and I just give her a lopsided grin. She forces me to sleep but in vain. I know she gets wound up because it has become routine but still my eyes do not understand that. It does not want to close. My friend gets into her fantasy world again. I order my eyelids to hug each other. They do not listen to me. It feels like my eyelids are annoyed with each other because they do not want to touch each other. I turn left and right but still no sign of closing my eyes.

I peep through the curtains, the soft rays of dawn touches my eyes. I gaze at it for long time and the energetic rays of sun warms up my face. It is already morning. Another night, without sleep.