There is a love that is divine

Look at this breeze

Seeing me alone, it’s teasing me.

Look, even these flowers

Seeing me alone, are nagging me.

Please come soon & hide me in your arms.

I beg you, hold me & never let me go.

When you are not here,

My world traumatizes all of sudden.

When you are not here,

Even the path I constantly walk turns into alien all of sudden.

Please come soon & catch my hand

And walk with me for eternity.

Take note, the song that I am singing

Are also waiting for your return.

Look, even my eyes are craving to see you.

I didn’t even perceive how secure I feel to have you.

I didn’t even realize that you have my heart already stolen.

Please come soon, I plead you & want you here with me.

Closer View.

Captivatingly Beautiful!

Love to listen!

I don't want to talk about it

                                             - Rod Stewart

I can tell by your eyes that you've probably been cryin' forever
And the stars in the sky don't mean nothin' to you, they're a mirror
I don't want to talk about it, how you broke my heart
If I stay here just a little bit longer
If I stay here, won't you listen to my heart, whoa, heart?

If I stand all alone, will the shadows hide the colors of my heart
Blue for the tears, black for the night's fears
The star in the sky don't mean nothin' to you, they're a mirror
I don't want to talk about it, how you broke my heart
If I stay here just a little bit longer
If I stay here, won't you listen to my heart, whoa, heart?
I don't want to talk about it, how you broke this old heart

If I stay here just a little bit longer
If I stay here, won't you listen to my heart, whoa, heart?
My heart, whoa, heart

A day in a life of an ordinary person

Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy.

                                                                 - Norman Vincent Peale.

 Note: She is my mother. The above photographs talks about the daily chores that she does.

Picture Story: Trip to Rangzhikhar Goenpa :)

Sangay, Passang, Leki and Me

Sangay, Phub Dem, Passang and Me.
 




Time sailed away, waited for none!

I feel amazed to look back to the time when I was in my pre-primary school. Going to school and being in the classroom was one of the most beautiful experiences, I consider. Frankly speaking, when I first saw computer in my headmaster’s office, I was left with my jaw wide open. I was so much fascinated by it. I would wonder how that electronic creature functions. My curiosity used to kill me inside. But sadly, never got a chance to touch it. Fanciful gadgets always enthralled me.

Now, that time is gone. Time waited for none of us. It just slipped without our notice. For the children of today’s time, nothing is captivating. Right after their birth, they are introduced to all kinds of materialistic device. Space for curiosity has been subdued. Going to school is weary for them. Books contain only facts, fractions and figures. For them, there is nothing to explore. Things don’t fascinate them because materialistic device has made them all well known to world. Time has transformed everything, including people’s perception and their living standards. Let me share something, I was left numb when I saw my three year old nephew activating his father’s laptop and watching cartoon. When I was of his age, frankly telling I did not know whether this type of device exist or not.  Time is so surprising and the change it has brought in is stunning.

I am growing old and hopefully I am becoming more mature. I feel that nothing has changed. I find everything same, such as, my way of wearing kira, my friends, my sisters pampering and calling me with disgusting names. But somewhere within the cage of my ribs, I know things have changed hugely. Unquestionably, excluding biological changes, everything seems the same. But when I turn back and look, everything is different.

My Prized Possession: My Sisters

Please don’t cry,

I love you for what you are.

Don’t be annoyed,

I’ll be left alone without you.

You understand me more than I do.

                                                           Please don’t go away,

                                                           I cannot afford to be disregarded by others.

                                                           Stay by my side always,

                                                           Without you, I’m nothing

                                                          Hold my hand, we’ll toddle together.

How far away I’m from you,

I always find you beside me.

Without your existence,

My world seems to be sedated.

I crave my voyage of life to be walking with you.

                                                             I want to live,

                                                             I want to cry,

                                                             In the tenderness of your arms.

                                                             Be my best friend, be my soul mate.

                                                            I love you more than you’ll ever know.

My Message To The World!

Life, so uncertain and mysterious. Life has made each of us wonder upon our purpose and destiny. As we journey along, in doubt and in hope, the choices we make define who we are. Nothing is permanent. Walking our way through toil and perseverance, at times we gain and we lose the other time. Happiness can be found in the most obvious or the most unexpected things. Our entire life is squandered in accomplishing happiness, forgetting that happiness comes from within.

To be truly happy in life, we must learn to be at ease with what we possess. Don’t expect more. Help the needy ones. Learn to share and be obliging. In doing so, you will get that feeling of contentment. The feeling that will overwhelm you, make you shade tears and smile at the same time. The feelings of happiness that will make the creature inside the cage of your ribs feel blissful.

Life does not go the way we want it to. We may or may not be able to live our lives the way we want. But certainly, we will live our lives the way it is meant to be, i.e. to live together. People, know that we are all together.

Love to capture moments! Found so beautiful!

If you were mine….

The first time I saw you,

I was left gazing at you

Since then, I am waiting

But the right time just sailed.

                                                 

                                                 If you were mine,

                                                 The world would be mine.

                                                 Holding your hand, I would dance

                                                 I would keep you in my heart.

Out of this world you are,

 No one like you ever

How can somebody be so charismatic like you?

 You are an angel from above.

                                                    

                                                    If you were mine,

                                                    I would not be on earth

                                                    I would be flying,

                                                    with a passion so blind.

Wealth as the utmost happiness…but they’re not at least for me

Happiness is the contentment or pleasure one feels. Money and possessions can bring people joy but such happiness is short lived. Real and constant happiness comes from achievements, growth of skills and character, expressing creativity, freedom, peace of mind, kindness and gratitude we show and receive, and by loving and being loved. Different people become happy for different reason.

When a person wins a lottery or gets a raise in salary, she/he may experience happiness. With excess of money, happiness may increase but he/she will soon learn to adjust with the excess of money and may start to feel that the money is inadequate. In turn, the excess of money becomes a burden trying to maintain and secure it.

People associate happiness to the amount of money possessed. But certainly, that is not satisfactory. People get delighted at first from the brand new car that has been bought. But the delight remains only for short term and people get used to them. Human minds are adaptable. The desire to have more gradually increases. People are never all that satisfied with the money they have. Unquestionably, more salary makes people happy but that is immediate. People promptly amend to the new wealth and all it purchase.

It is observable that wealth is such features in one’s life that if its quantity is less, people are likely to suffer. And if it is more, people find it complicated to deal with. Money creates divide between rich and poor. The rich become richer by making use of natural resources and cheating tax. The poor ones remain as it is. More money can make people feel superior while poor ones are made to feel inferior.

Happiness comes from within and not from having luxurious things. It is just self-satisfactory. Happiness brought by money is short lived. Frankly speaking, I find happiness in doing things rather than having fanciful gadgets.

WHO AM I? WHY AM I HERE? WHERE AM I HEADING FOR?

“Who am I?” The question is undying one. If I don’t answer, I may never be able to decide between what my fundamental self wants and what other people influence me to want. I try my best to answer it for myself however the answer prearranged by others do affect the way I approach this question. The answer of this question cannot be found in a person’s religion or in the society they are brought up in, but it is found in a person’s heart and soul.

When I recollect my childhood days, I have dreamt of joining so many professions. Sometimes doctor, other times engineer and army officer at times. I never gave a thought to my inner self. And at times when I did, I found it complicated and dreamy. I have always been known for having lively personality. A girl with full of life, smiling and making others smile along with me. But that never contented me.

Everyone, who enters college, initiates a new life. It does not matter whether one was stupid or introverted; college gives everyone a second chance. A chance to become someone diverse, someone she or he always dreamt to become. College teaches us many essential lessons, which are not certainly found in the curriculum.

Now, as I am here in the college, the quest within me has been finally conquered. Now, I know myself. I am a kind of a girl who loves to talk, argue and explore things. I am a girl who admires working on her dream. I always wanted to explore things, communicate and bring about changes. Now I know my purpose. I have an aim. I want to become a teacher. I want to impart the skills and knowledge that I will acquire while my stay at Sherubtse. And this will be an on-going process. I want to grab every opportunity that approaches my way. Here, I get inspired by my tutors, especially by Mrs. Sangay Tshechu and Mr. Dorji Wangchuk. I want to become like them. My passion is amplified with the inspiration I have. I have the potential and as well as opportunity.

After coming to Sherubtse, I have come to know that there is an always bigger and better thing available. I know dedicating another two years in studying is not an easy task but it is completely reasonable to question the meaning and sense of coming to college. I am hopeful that Sherubtse will empower my imagination and enlarge my skills. I am on my way to explore and accomplish my dreams. Deciding the occupation as a teacher has been set in stone in my mind. Undoubtedly, I am progressing to construct a brighter future for myself.

And the world’s going to know your name!

 

My nephew, Yoeuhuang
 

What can Y actually mean? This question intrigued me for quite a while. It all started when my eldest sister had her first baby. I mean her only one so far. I was curious to know his name from the very beginning. My first question after her delivery was concerning his name. She winked and said it was already decided. To sustain my curiosity she just left with Y. “It starts with Y,” was the mystery for a dumber like me. I was restless because the only words that came in my mind were ‘You, Yourself, Yesterday, Yeller, Yeti, etc….

It was unfair on my nephew’s part because all sorts of selfish words were related to it. True to be me, I stormed in and demanded to end the mystery. She smiled and whispered, “YOEUHUANG.” For a moment I couldn’t move. “YOEUHUANG?”…. a word meaning ‘Prince Charming’ in Subba, our dialect. I was left with lopsided grin. That little boy chuckled as he sucked his mother’s milk.

Suddenly, the letter Y took a new perspective in my life. Maybe Y could be ‘Yours, Young forever, Yummy….’ We always take things our way and build up notion on anybody or anything. We exaggerate little things and think it as the only way but most often it’s in waiting and taking the other way round that can make us see the better things in life.

 

Life has lots of gifts and purposes. Who knows if I had not known Yoeuhuang- my nephew, my perspective on Y would have never changed.

Although I regret for not having been to write good essays with better Y words but nevertheless, I do now. A popular adage has it that “You maybe late but never too late for anything.” I look at my cute nephew’s picture and all I can say about Y is ‘Yield, yearn, youthful and Yippee....’ and many more.

Unfolding Mystery….Worth it or Earn it!

I don’t know how my life will take the shape. And I never want to know. I was not meant to be like this. I was a kind of child who was so ambitious. Yes, of course still I am today but the perception has been little misdirected. Time has changed everything. The perception that I used to have has been wear and tear. I cannot retain it. Time has made me weary.

Life is so unreliable and cruel. Difficulties don’t come when we are willing to face it. But it comes when we are unaware of it. My father got brain stroke in the year 2009 and he got paralysed. It was during my examination. I was writing my class IX examination. The incident made me numb. My family were all dejected, especially my mother. Her better half was lying on the bed, half dead. I was sad and gloomy.

Maybe I am wrong. Maybe I misunderstood the lesson of life. I want to take things for granted. Now I know and I am confirmed that life is not trustworthy, I don’t plan for the next moment. If I do so, I know that untrustworthy will overspill me and I will be miserable. I don’t want that. Within me, I make sure that I adore the very moment and live to fullest.

I am inspired by my father and his strength of mind. He is still half paralysed. His right hand and right leg is distressed and do not listen to his brain. They are devoid of life. But he has hope that someday they will be thriving. At least, a little. I wish his hope be contented. But I know, this will not happen and he does so. My mother does each and every ritual in a hope that someday her better half will get well. I know she is tired. But she never sighs. Their love is wonder.

At different point, perception takes different direction. I used to think that life is a fairy tale. The ending is always happy but I was flawed. Reality does not contain fantasy. I remind myself that everything has a purpose in life. We are the one to discover it either positively or negatively.

It is not that I am mad with my life. I love my life and people who are part of me. I want them by me all my life. It is not possible, I know. I am worn-out and exhausted thinking my wishes never get fulfilled. Life isn’t so easy. You just don’t worth it, you earn it.

Annoyed Eyelids

 

Some nights I can’t sleep. People say that we can’t sleep when we are in love just because we feel that reality is much beautiful than dream. Not in my case. Actually, love is not in my case. Night mares come. I try my hard to sleep but my eyes don’t listen to my mind. The war between my eyes and mind continues. But the mystery never gets end. I miss my mother. I miss her warmth. While I was with her, I used to curl up in her arms and she would hold me tight. My favourite place where I get world’s best sleep is my mother’s arms. I can still smell her body’s odour and I love it.

I am far away from my home. My mother is not with me. Sleep does not come to me. My eyes wide open though my mind tries to take rest. I think of stacks of things. Social networks have made the world smaller. We have cell phones. I think of calling my mother at the middle of the night but I stop myself. I know she is having sound sleep after her hard diurnal chores. I think of her and try to sleep but still my eyes do not agree.

I can still remember my father stroking my hair whole night just to make me sleep when my mother was out of home. My father used to tell me stories of mighty prince which I now know as lord Rama. I would sleep happily rejoicing the mighty prince’s victory over evil. My father used to cover me with the blanket and switch the light off. I knew making me sleep was a troublesome job for him but still he did. The warmth, the love that he has for me overweighed everything. Just to make me have sound sleep, he would be awake all night. The old memories do not satisfy my eyes. My eyes still does not want to take rest.

After recollecting so many memories still, my eyes wide open. I try to reach my hand to the table to catch hold of my cell phone. The sound bothers my roommate. She wakes and asks me why I am still up and I just give her a lopsided grin. She forces me to sleep but in vain. I know she gets wound up because it has become routine but still my eyes do not understand that. It does not want to close. My friend gets into her fantasy world again. I order my eyelids to hug each other. They do not listen to me. It feels like my eyelids are annoyed with each other because they do not want to touch each other. I turn left and right but still no sign of closing my eyes.

I peep through the curtains, the soft rays of dawn touches my eyes. I gaze at it for long time and the energetic rays of sun warms up my face. It is already morning. Another night, without sleep.

 

 

The Craze For Education.....

I am the youngest in my family. And I was the last one to go to school. From the very young age, I always wanted to go to school. I have seen my brothers and sisters going to school from the very beginning of my childhood. I always had a dream of going to school with them. Every morning, I would sit beside my mother and watch her dress them up. In that blue uniform, my siblings would look very neat and tidy. Seeing them wear, I would dream of wearing that blue uniform. After they have left for school, I would linger around my mother nagging, to dress me up too. My mother is illiterate but she knows what education means. She never denied when I asked her to dress me up. She with lots of love, would dress me up and for rest of the day, I would play happily with my toys. I would scribble anything that came to my mind. I would scribble on my bed room wall. I would get satisfaction seeing that I have written so many things.

Every evening, I could hear my siblings shout something. They would be memorizing at top of their voice. Silently I would also repeat the same thing after them. After they were done, I would go to them and shout the same. Undoubtedly, I could pour out everything that was in the Dzongkha book of class II. They would chase me. My father used to teach me how to read and write. I used to run to my mother after I am done and show her my writings. She would look at it and would fondle my hair and smile. I would be so contented and would go to bed murmuring the memorized sentences.

I got admission in school in the year 2000, when I was six years old. I was the happiest person but to be frank, my mother was more than me. I could see tears in her eyes but still smiling for me. My family was happy for me. I started going to school. It was like my dream come true. Now, my mother used to dress me up- the blue uniform that I used to dream of wearing. I would look into the mirror and smile. For me, going to school was like more than anything.

I was very good in studies. My entire teacher used to appreciate me. I used to stay late night writing my home works. There was no one to help me. My siblings were far away from home. They were in their college. My father would be out for site. No one was there to help me out with my works. But my mother always stood beside me. She would stay late night with me besides her tiring day chores. She used to tell the names of animals in our local dialect and I used to translate it in either English or Dzongkha. I used to cry for not finishing my works and she used to console me with lots of love. She would look at me and smile. I would get that satisfaction and would again continue my work. My mother would sit beside me and watch until I am done. She would wake me early morning and make me study. My craze for education amplified with my mother’s sacrifices. I wanted to do something for my mother. I don’t want her sacrifices to go in vain.

I got my education and still I am with it. I know everyone- my father and my siblings are happy for me but I want my mother to be the most. It is said that, “What matters in life is not what happens to you but what you remember and how you remember it.” So, I remember how my father used to teach me, how my siblings helped me out with my obstacles but more than anything, I remember my mother’s sacrifices- her sleepless nights, contentment and her love.

More than me, my mother has the craze for education. Now, at least she can read and identify the numbers. I am glad that because of my craze, my mother could help out with herself in this materialistic world.

There are always bigger and better things available...

 

I am Kuch Kumari Subba. Born on 29^th_March, 1994. I am a kind of girl who loves to talk, argue and wants to be always happy. And yes, I am always happy and smiling. Always being with my parents, I never questioned myself about anything. At times, I was unable to overcome my obstacles and at times, I was on the top. Still, I never recognized my potential.

Till my high school, I had the notion that happiness is at home being with my parents but as I entered the university, the notion that I had, I found was not so promising. I never questioned myself about what I want to be and who am I? As I finished my high school, the questions “WHO AM I?” and “WHERE I WANT TO SEE MYSELF AFTER FEW YEARS?” patted my mind. At that very moment, I was confused. Then after, I realized where I want to be and who am I?

 

One must have chaos with oneself to give birth to a star and within me, I found that I always wanted to explore things, communicate with people and disseminate information. I wanted to be a teacher. I wanted to grab every opportunity that comes my way. And finally, I got my way. By choosing media studies, I can accomplish my passion. I can communicate as well as explore. And this will always be an on-going process. There are always bigger and better things available.